Hi. I thought it would be sensible to start here with a bit of an explanation of why I set up this site.
At some point in 2018 I started to feel this itch that I couldn’t scratch. I had a good job, a loving wife and 2 great kids, but something was missing.
One evening, whilst doing my best to procrastinate and not get on with some work I started a whatsapp conversation with my brother Simon who lives in the USA. At some point I explained my restless feeling and Simon suggested I try and work out what excites or inspires me. He suggested that I work out what it was and then find a way of making that a bigger part of my life. The answer was obvious. Running. Sometimes I love running and sometimes I hate it, but the idea of it always excites me.
The problem was, I thought, I’m 35 and it’s not like I can just start running lots and then enter the 10K in the 2020 Olympics. Yes I could run a bit more but that’s not any sort of significant change that’s going to make me feel I’m doing what I should be.
Then at the end of the year I learnt of the death of a once very good friend Nick, the same age as me, who died of a rare and aggressive form of cancer. Me and Nick both studied Philosophy, performed in a band, and played in a five a side football team together in our uni days, but since then we’d fallen out of touch. It goes without saying I was devastated for Nick and those closest to him, particularly as Nick was the kind of person to seize every opportunity presented to him and take every last bit of life he could out of every situation. I was sad to see Nick go, but reassured to know he would be able to say goodbye to this world having lived it to the full and taken everything he could from it before his life was cruelly cut short.
But, perhaps selfishly, it made me think about myself and whether or not I could go to my deathbed tomorrow feeling like I had seized as much of life as I could. I couldn’t. I felt like somehow I owed it to myself and to Nick to make sure I lived the rest of life to the full. It really wouldn’t be fair to Nick if he died with a full but short life whilst I went on and on without seizing every minute of every day.
Nick was a big David Bowie fan. So was I. I still am. On the way home from Nick’s funeral I started a web crawl of David Bowie stuff and came across an interview of him explaining how a key motivator for him had always been trying to do things that scared him or that worried him. This reminded me of part of the conversation with my brother. I was also worried that I’d never attempted to do anything that there was a genuine chance I might fail at. I’ve done lots of things that I’ve being okay at, some a bit more okay than others, but nothing that I’ve been great at and nothing that I’ve tried and failed miserably at.
And so I reached the conclusion that I should take or make some sort of opportunity that might slightly terrify me and would definitely put me out of my comfort zone. This website is my attempt to fit the final piece of the jigsaw. I have no idea how to run a website and there’s every chance I could fail miserably in that regard. Also, I’ve always been slightly terrified of properly engaging in social media, mainly because it feels like a form of self promotion and few things in life feel more uncomfortable to me than that.
As I continue with this website I also intend to commit to a bigger running challenge (suggestions on a postcard please) than I ever have previously so that I genuinely could try and fail in a very public manner. To date I’ve competed in a handful of 10K runs and sprint triathlons and two half marathons. My logic is if I commit to something on this site and actually get and maintain some traffic to it then I can commit to another thing I can potentially fail at but therefore feel like I’m living the fuller life I owe an old friend.